Baseball
by Yma
Summary: Beast tries to end hostilities and bring the X-men and Brotherhood together with a fair, friendly, character building game of no-powers Baseball... The poor deluded fool.


Hello! Yeah, it's another story by me! But before I begin, a few notes. 

1: This story is told from Beast's perspective and with his voice. The entire narrative his him speaking, anything in speech marks is his voice, and there is no description in this fic. I've never done this before, but I think it's worked out. Let me know what you think, please!   
2: Now, this story is based around a game of baseball. I have about as much knowledge of this as the average British person, I think. Which is to say, that I consider it a sort of mutated love child of cricket and rounders. If I get the various details wrong, I'm very, very sorry. If you can give me the correct terms and phrases I will edit this story accordingly.   
Lastly, but not leastly...   
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing in this story, it all belongs to Marvel and the guys who make the cartoon. Yada yada yada, you know the deal.   
Right, here we go, hope you like it.   
  
Baseball   
  
'Right, in order to patch up the current… hostilities between the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants, I have arranged this lovely game of Baseball. Here we shall learn to work together, to perform without the use of our mutant powers, and we shall discover that winning isn't everything! Oh, and I heard that, Lance, don't think I didn't.   
'I've split you up into teams, with two Brotherhood members on each team, so that we won't have any more petty rivalry.   
'Team A is Kurt, Kitty, Evan, Pietro, Amara, Sam, Rogue, Toad and Ray. They shall be batting first.   
'Team B is Blob, Jean, Jamie, Lance, Rhane, Scott, Bobby, Jubilee and Roberto. They shall be fielding.   
'Scott, you're pitching, Jamie, you're Catcher, yes, I've got protective gear for you. Why aren't you on the other bases? Because if I did that then you'd make up the majority of your team before five minutes had passed, now just sit there behind home base, no running, catching or falling required.   
'Bobby, you're on first base, Jean, you're on second, Blob's on third Bobby, you're the shortstop. Rhane, Roberto, Lance, you're right, left and center fielders. No, Roberto, we don't have any sun-cream, you'll just have to do without.   
'Right now, you're going in list order, so you're up first, Kurt. Kurt! Kurt! Stop making eyes at Kitty and pick up a bat, thank you. Right, let's play ball!   
'Nice strong throw there Scott, well done, ah nice batting Kurt, very good. Yes, Yes, good start, ye- uh, you did hear the no powers rule, didn't you Kurt? That does include teleporting, it is intended that you're feet touch the ground between bases, you know. Um, I think we'll swap you and Scott over, go to the end of the batting queue, Scott, Kurt, you're pitching, that should be easier.   
'Kitty, you're up next. OK Kurt, give it all you've got! Wow, quite a swing you've got there, elf, very good! What do you mean you've had practice with daggers? No, I don't want to know.   
'Ah, you're not actually supposed to phase when a ball comes towards you, Kitty, we'll count that as a miss, please sit out. It appears the ball has hit Jamie, just send those clones away, Jamie, we only want one of you as Catcher.   
'Scott, please stop looking at Lance that way, you're making him nervous.   
'Alright, a little softer next time, Kurt, and we have Evan up next, go for it boy! Oh well done! Well done! First base, second base! Close boy, close! Maybe next time. This is more like it.   
'Pietro, you're up next, remember what I said, I don't want to see you doing supersonic speeds, just a nice little jog, alright? Right.   
'Now, pick up a bat and- Bob? Blob! Stop it, I said stop it this instant! I don't care that it tastes like strawberries, stop it! Right, where was I? Ah yes, Pietro, you're up.   
'Another lovely throw by Kurt, well hit, Pietro. Going a bit fast there, but, ah Pietro, Pietro, PIETRO! Oh God! You just ran past Evan, you ran him out! This isn't a race, boy! For once can you forget your petty rivalry! Yes, you did lose your team points. Never mind! Amara, it's your go.   
'Don't worry, I'm sure I can fix a cracked nail or two if need be, up you go girl. Nice hit, good run, first, second, thi- Damn it! Mr Alvers, if I catch you using earthquakes again then I will expel you from the game! Someone help the princess up please? What do you mean you aren't out? Oh, you incinerated the ball, I see. Well, never mind, I think we'll just send you back the team and get out a new ball. I thought this would happen, so I packed plenty of spares.   
'Who's up next? Sam, right, you should be good at this. Nice batting there, good start, Oh God! What part of No Powers don't you people understand! The _ball's_ meant to fly uncontrollably through the air, Samuel Guthrie, not _you! And you've hit Jamie! Sit out now, with those other Jamie clones, no I'm not counting that run. By the way, Jean, nice catch, but this time can we do it without telekinesis, OK? Right, who, dare I ask, is next?   
'What's that Kitty? Pietro seems to have fainted? Humm, must be the heat. Put him in the shade and leave him to cool off, there's some water over there for him; if he hasn't recovered soon I'll take him to the med-lab, though I imagine it's just the excitement.   
'Rouge, you're up next. Nice hit there, nice, nice, my you're running fast! Oops! 'Bobby! I said NO POWERS! Don't think I didn't see that ice patch you created, well, never mind. She was running very fast wasn't she, almost as fast as… you touched Pietro, didn't you, Rogue? What do you mean, only a little! You're hopeless, you really are! Just… just sit out with the others, you didn't score anything anyway, and if I catch you doing a trick like that again, Bobby Drake, then you shall also be out.   
'Now, who has the ball? Oh, well done Rhane, turning into wolf form to catch the ball, I think I can forgive you that, it's no real advantage after all, and God knows everyone else has been cheating. Right, give me the ball, I said give me the ball, here, come here, give Mr McCoy the ball! Come on! Give us the ball! Give us the ball! Good girl, good girl, who's a good- OWWWW you bit me you little bit- ahem- canine, this isn't the last you'll hear of this! It'll be the rolled up newspaper for you and no mistake!   
'Now, Toad, you're up next, God help us all. Kurt, Kurt, stop that! We all know you're tail's prehensile, but that's no excuse to show off, just throw the ball the Toad and we can get this all over with.'   
'Ah, another good hit, oh, and some excellent fielding by Jubilee, excellent! Huh, oh, she seems to have exploded the ball, never mind, we'll call that a catch anyway. Toad was jumping from base to base anyhow. As I said before, I want to see your feet on the ground between bases. Here's another spare ball. Toad, for you're cheating, I want you to go back to second base. And I won't have any of that language here! Clean your mouth out, little boy! It's certainly about time you cleaned something.   
'Ray, your next, now, just go and- Scott, Scott! SCOTT! Don't' do that.   
'Ahem, now, just- Oh Toad, Jean doesn't appreciate having her hair slimed, so I would stop it if I were you, or you'll have 'The Song That Never Ends' running round your head for the next few weeks.   
'Right, Ray, take you turn.   
'And it's a miss! Good catch Jamie. No, no don't, Ray! RAY! For the love of God it's a bat, not a club! Just… Just send of the extra Jamies and go to the back of the queue.   
'Scott, you're up next. Just, be the responsible leader, OK? Just hit the ball and run. OK? No, no Lance, stop that. Stop that Lance! Oh no, don't' take your glasses of Scott! I said don't-! Huh? What do you mean you've incinerated another ball? Roberto!   
'Right, I give up, just do what you like! All powers, no rules, do whatever you want, I can't handle this anymore. If anyone needs me I'll be back in the mansion with a stiff drink. I'll be back in an hour with the emergency medical kits. Now, play ball!   
  
THE END   
  
_

And the rest, aside from your reviews, hopefully, is silence. 

So hurry up and tell me what you think. 


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